Aspiring Games/Film Journalist Needs Feedback

Bowlby · 04-13-2009, 03:10 PM

Hello all,

I'm 22, with a degree, and a passion for films and video games. I currently have a blog site which I update regularly (http://bowlbyspeaks.wordpress.com) with reviews and opinion pieces. What I'd like to ask all you lovely ladies and gents out there, is if you'd kindly devote some of your valuable time to having a look and seeing what you think. In particular, I would like feedback on what you think of my writing style, rather than whether you think I'm right or not in what I say. Of course, any advice is welcome, including what you think of the site in general.

Eventually, I am looking to go into freelancing for other websites, but, unfortunately, I don't really know where to start and who to ask. I'm also concerned that the standard of my writing isn't yet up to scratch.

Please, don't pull any punches, and don't try to spare my feelings. I'm here to learn and improve my writing, not feed my ego.

Thanks for your time, and good luck in your own work.

Yours sincerely,
Bowlby

Gshonk · 04-14-2009, 05:15 AM

Welcome to the Forums! I'll take a look after work

Bowlby · 04-16-2009, 10:58 AM

Thank you, I appreciate that.

Adrir · 04-18-2009, 01:48 PM

Looks really good to me. The only thing I've noticed it that you tend to use "-" alot.

Bowlby · 04-18-2009, 04:23 PM

As a reader, Aldrir, do you think it hinders the quality of the writing?

Adrir · 04-19-2009, 08:29 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bowlby

As a reader, Adrir, do you think it hinders the quality of the writing?

To be honest, particularly for online reading rather than print material, I think it makes it easier to read. This is because it makes a large chunk of test less intimidating and does break up your sentences clearly. However, this is just be my personal preference.

The only disadvantage of this style is that there are a small number of occassions where you use it several times in a single sentence. This can make it a bit strange to read as well as stretches the sentance a bit too far; at least in my mind. Furthermore, you sometimes use a dash to indicate things like the nonessential relative clause. That was a bit weird for me as I was taught to use a comma in that instance. However, this again is more of your writing style and my ability to read rather than a problem.

In general, the articles I read were quite superb.

Gshonk · 04-19-2009, 09:45 AM

Pretty cool, I like the old movie reviews, it shows you are a diverse person.