Get the latest Education e-news
 

Go Back   Game Career Guide Forums > Writing
Forum Home Register Members List Mark Forums Read

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 04-13-2009, 03:10 PM   #1
Bowlby
Junior Member

Activity Longevity
0/20 15/20
Today Posts
0/11 ssssssss4
Default Aspiring Games/Film Journalist Needs Feedback

Hello all,

I'm 22, with a degree, and a passion for films and video games. I currently have a blog site which I update regularly (http://bowlbyspeaks.wordpress.com) with reviews and opinion pieces. What I'd like to ask all you lovely ladies and gents out there, is if you'd kindly devote some of your valuable time to having a look and seeing what you think. In particular, I would like feedback on what you think of my writing style, rather than whether you think I'm right or not in what I say. Of course, any advice is welcome, including what you think of the site in general.

Eventually, I am looking to go into freelancing for other websites, but, unfortunately, I don't really know where to start and who to ask. I'm also concerned that the standard of my writing isn't yet up to scratch.

Please, don't pull any punches, and don't try to spare my feelings. I'm here to learn and improve my writing, not feed my ego.

Thanks for your time, and good luck in your own work.

Yours sincerely,
Bowlby
Bowlby is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-14-2009, 05:15 AM   #2
Gshonk
Moderator

Activity Longevity
0/20 20/20
Today Posts
0/11 ssssss831
Location: Philadelphia, PA
Default

Welcome to the Forums! I'll take a look after work
__________________
Grant Shonkwiler()
"I would love to fix the world if someone would just give me the source code"
Website Industry blog LinkedIn
Gshonk is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-16-2009, 10:58 AM   #3
Bowlby
Junior Member

Activity Longevity
0/20 15/20
Today Posts
0/11 ssssssss4
Default

Thank you, I appreciate that.
Bowlby is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-18-2009, 01:48 PM   #4
Adrir
Administrator
 
Adrir's Avatar

Activity Longevity
1/20 20/20
Today Posts
0/11 sssss1466
Location: London, UK
Default

Looks really good to me. The only thing I've noticed it that you tend to use "-" alot.
__________________
Michael 'Adrir' Scott :: Games, Virtual Worlds, Education
Networking | Current Project | Research | Teaching
Adrir is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-18-2009, 04:23 PM   #5
Bowlby
Junior Member

Activity Longevity
0/20 15/20
Today Posts
0/11 ssssssss4
Default

As a reader, Aldrir, do you think it hinders the quality of the writing?
Bowlby is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-19-2009, 08:29 AM   #6
Adrir
Administrator
 
Adrir's Avatar

Activity Longevity
1/20 20/20
Today Posts
0/11 sssss1466
Location: London, UK
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Bowlby View Post
As a reader, Adrir, do you think it hinders the quality of the writing?
To be honest, particularly for online reading rather than print material, I think it makes it easier to read. This is because it makes a large chunk of test less intimidating and does break up your sentences clearly. However, this is just be my personal preference.

The only disadvantage of this style is that there are a small number of occassions where you use it several times in a single sentence. This can make it a bit strange to read as well as stretches the sentance a bit too far; at least in my mind. Furthermore, you sometimes use a dash to indicate things like the nonessential relative clause. That was a bit weird for me as I was taught to use a comma in that instance. However, this again is more of your writing style and my ability to read rather than a problem.

In general, the articles I read were quite superb.
__________________
Michael 'Adrir' Scott :: Games, Virtual Worlds, Education
Networking | Current Project | Research | Teaching
Adrir is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-19-2009, 09:45 AM   #7
Gshonk
Moderator

Activity Longevity
0/20 20/20
Today Posts
0/11 ssssss831
Location: Philadelphia, PA
Default

Pretty cool, I like the old movie reviews, it shows you are a diverse person.
__________________
Grant Shonkwiler()
"I would love to fix the world if someone would just give me the source code"
Website Industry blog LinkedIn
Gshonk is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply


Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.6.9
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
All times are GMT -8. The time now is 08:01 PM.






UBM Tech