Critique: Cover Letter & Resume

[KodiakChaos]

Hey Everyone,

I'm putting together a new cover letter and resume for a game tester position in my area. I'm looking for feedback on my current drafts.

NEWEST 6/24/09:




OLD:



I'll be updating them as I go. For anyone who takes the time to look them over, thank you.

[yaustar]

Cover letter:
- Layout is not in a standard letter format.
- The first sentence should be saying what job you are applying for (I stopped reading before I reached the latter half of the first paragraph.
- Talk about more of what you actually did during testing of the mod (software used, process etc).
- The last paragraph is meaningless. It is obvious that you contact details is on the letter and resume. A simple, "I look forward to hearing from you." would have sufficed.
- Remove 'Cordially' and use 'Your sincerely'.
- Remove the peom/motto.

Resume:
- The degree in Skills % Experience should be in Education.
- You have no inudstry relevant Work Experience. I would put Education below Skills and Other Experience below that (after renaming it Games Modifications or something similar).
- The Skills should put down the tools you are familiar with. More specific, bug reporting tools, level editor and such.
- Creative and Innovative and Detail Oriented and Organized are not Skills, they are character traits and should be another section or the covering letter.
- You have Technical Support experience but I don't see the work where you got it from.

[jwalters]

Edit: I can't review your cover letter at the moment because my company filter is blocking it. Here are my thoughts on your resume.

I agree with yaustar, for now your Work Experience should be just above your hobbies and you need to list tools/languages you're familiar with in your skills (Maya, Lua, C++, 3DS Max, other?). Don't list your associate degree in your skills section; it belongs (and is duplicated) in your Education section.

Finally, I'm not sure the SIGGRAPH convention and 3D Buzz training belong under Education. They are great to have but would probably fall better under a category such as "Related Experiences" or something... maybe someone else can weigh in on this one? I don't know the industry standard there, just think a convention doesn't belong in Education.

Best regards and good luck!

[KodiakChaos]

Very good input so far, thank you!

I'll try and get an updated version of both docs soon for a second look.

[KodiakChaos]

Hey everyone,

I've posted an updated version of the documents. Let me know what you think.

[yaustar]

Looks good, I can't see anything really wrong with it.

[jwalters]

Looks good! The only comment I have on your cover letter is that I would remove the "However, should you need to contact me..." sentence. It's not clear why they have to use a different phone/email during that date range and implies reservation on your part. You want it to be easy as possible for them to reach you and I think a single phone/email as stated on your resume should be sufficient.

[KodiakChaos]

The reason thats there is I'll be out of town, but I see your point.

Any input on improving my choice of words?

[dzeligman]

If possible try to make it less generic.

You shouldn't have to fill in the blank with a name shop. You should just show that you are passionate for working for the particular company in some way and not have to tell it.

If you really want I can email you the cover letter I used to get my current internship (its pretty cheesy and don't feel like posting on the boards :P).

[jwalters]

Originally Posted by KodiakChaos

The reason thats there is I'll be out of town, but I see your point.

Any input on improving my choice of words?

I already gave my input: remove the line. They don't need to know you will be out of town. All you did was give your email and phone number, which is presumably on your resume already.